Added: Lynsie Lopes - Date: 10.03.2022 00:31 - Views: 14139 - Clicks: 9018
General Rating. Download Submission. File type : Acrobat Portable Document. Main Gallery Download. Shelter from the Rain [Donkey TF]. A young man experiences some car trouble and ends up in the wrong barn during a rain storm. Although you might think it the right barn, depending on your perspective; Hello and welcome!
This is my first story, which took me an embarrassingly long time to finish. Any constructive feedback is welcome and appreciated. I hope you enjoy! Redsol Writer link parent. Same here! But I guess posting a donkey tf story gave me away. CelestialRainicorn Transformation Aficionado! That was a pretty long detailed story. First off the setting. In the middle of nowhere and in a storm. Makes for a Donkey tf story atmosphere of isolation and nobody can help you when you're being transformed.
I also liked the whole idea of giving your mind body and soul if your identity is found out on a witch's domain. Especially since it came from a drivers Reminds me a bit of death note for some reason. Aw, thank you! Yeah just the whole name thing made me think of that. Also i liked the ending.
Makes me think about how there's more to the story after it ends. Omnikitsune Writer link. A little rough in some places.
You have a tendency to jump back and forth between present and past tense, and there are multiple typos and misspellings of words, not to mention points where you had two dialogue from two people together in the same paragraph.
That being said, it wasn't too bad overall, once you got to the main changes. You were a little repetitive with your talk of hide and gray fur growing in. It made me a little confused at times with how much it was used. I loved how you used the art of the true name, though. That was a neat angle. The mischief in her nature was also a nice touch. Methinks that man will have some words for her. Also, will we be seeing more of these characters soon?
Thank you for your critique! You actually keyed in on some issues I was having. I wanted to experiment with first person, but I found I had trouble making interesting sentences that stayed in the correct tense But I Donkey tf story on doing better with the next story!
I have more planned for these characters, so stay tuned! Dearshul77 FA Ghost link. Quite intriguing!
I like the tug of war when it comes to Nate's human sensibilities and the play on the magic of one's name. I also enjoy the richness of Abigail. The fact that she's inexperienced and fighting against the anxiety of having her plaything taken away makes her very dynamic, and her personality is an utter playground for psychological dissection. The history there is palpable. Overall, you've enchanted me with these characters. I look forward to seeing more. And I can tell you right now that Moth and Azura Donkey tf story both eager to cross paths with Abigail the Wild.
Hopefully I can get those out a little quicker this time. Dearshul77 FA Ghost link parent. Also, Abigail would love to make some new magically-inclined friends. I think she would very much enjoy Moth and Azura's company! Tai1bulger Writer link. Very well written and entertaining! Thanks for sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more of your stories, especially if they feature donkeys. Thank you for the kind words! Knowing me, there is always a good chance of donkeys. ShadowFox That Isle Beav' link. Excellent first story!
I've loved your stuff for a long time, so I really appreciate your approval! ShadowFox That Isle Beav' link parent. Aw, glad you like it!
You're definitely off to a rockin' start with TF literature with this one! My goodness very good first story. Don't know how I missed this one in my donkey tf searched. Great detail, good pacing.
Only issue is a few typos and grammatically errors. Otherwise its just as good if not better than any of the donkey stories I've written. BearRodeo Writer I guess? You have some fantastic ideas in this story. Using the full human name to transform the victim, starting the transformation by shoving hay into his mouth, it's very good. I will mention that there are some grammar errors there, and also I will mention that the setting is a tiny bit cliche, but I'm glad it doesn't start with the words "It was a dark and stormy night However, you have written around most of what makes the setting cliche, which has been done very well.
Overall, this is a great story and I would love to see you continue writing. Thank you so much for the feedback! I have a continuation for this in the works! I've been neglecting it for a while due to real life obligations, but I'm going to be getting back into it very soon! Hopefully with less grammatical errors this time, haha. A well done, as much a fun read, you manipulate the reader while knowing the outcome the plot continued to thicken, and Yes I liked the exceptionlly well done detailing of the transfromee.
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