Funny masterbation stories

Added: Amandia Broxton - Date: 18.04.2022 23:37 - Views: 16587 - Clicks: 3187

Beat off, Jack it, Jerk off, Wank, Fap, Toss…and many more words or phrases, all used as a euphemism for one act; Masturbation. Something so common that it has hundreds of different synonyms worldwide. Most people masturbate, some more regularly than others. In dire anticipation of Masturbation Month, let's look at a couple of truly hilarious masturbation stories! Some display outright outrageous masturbation techniques. This does mean that I have plenty of funny stories to tell, some second hand with consent from the subjectsothers not even that, but all hilarious.

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First experiences with a male masturbator, for those unaware of how to correctly use one, can prove strange and Funny masterbation stories to get the hang of. For a friend of mine, his first and only to date, despite encouragement to invest experience with a sleeve involved a distinct lack of lubricant, none to be precise. Safe to say that this just left him frustrated, as well as in a bit of pain. Of course, went regaling a group of young men with this story, he was met with a chorus of laughter. The moral of this tale: make sure to use lube!

The next method is one used by a former housemate of mine, who goes by the name Billy Porcelain. This method not only gave us a laugh but also opened up questions about Pavlovian conditioning. Billy would regularly masturbate post poo. Yes, you read that right, after having finished pooing and wiping, Billy would have a wank. Right onto the toilet tissue covering his excrement I try not to judge Admittedly, when explained, I could see how this was an efficient clean-up method. You do you, Billy…you do you! However, probably the most inappropriate of Funny masterbation stories that I have heard was in a lecture theatre, during a lecture.

Sitting in the very back corner, a friend decided that he was inconspicuous enough to start masturbating, with the danger of getting caught making it even more exhilarating. Alas, he did cease and desist before reaching climax. I just want to know what the lecture was about to make him decide to masturbate. Needless to say, best not try this one, as it could have dire consequences on your future educational career if caught. This one is one that you may have seen before, it went slightly viral a few years back.

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One of my favorite masturbation stories. Again, from a university setting. Asments can be arduous tasks, worthy of celebration when completed. So, after finishing an asment on the deadline day, a friend decided to celebrate with a wank. Unfortunately for him, he took his time…too long. He ended up handing the asment in ten minutes late, incurring the late penalty of a five percent deduction. Yet another tale involving a toilet. So, phone sex can be tricky, especially when it comes to cleaning up.

So, this perpetrator decided to wear a condom, keep the cum contained. Somehow though, he ended up not climaxing in the condom, but instead urinating think South Park. What to do with a condom full of urine? Flush it down the toilet! Unfortunately, the drains became blocked, not because of the condom, but this did mean that the condom resurfaced for all to see. Safe to say, do no flush condoms, whatever the contents. Heating it up a bit first, for that extra lifelike feeling, he proceeded to jerk it with the melon.

However, being high, he got hungry afterward …so he cut around the part of the melon he had used and began eating the parts that he had not. Not even sure Stiffler would have done that. Yet another case of masturbating whilst learning. So, with her tutor opposite her, she began to masturbate under the table. This is one that I think most people will be able to relate to. If you know, you know. The range of the cum-shot can vary from wank to wank, sometimes it can go extremely far the record is apparent 5. Unfortunately for this friend, he managed to get just the wrong aim and distance…meaning that his ejaculate landed directly in his eye.

He was in the process of buying safety goggles while telling me that story, I wonder what they were for. Funny masterbation stories is the most inventive of all the stories. One friend decided that his two mattresses one atop the other offered the perfect pressure for pleasuring oneself.

Unfortunately for him, one time something went wrong…the mattresses had managed to grate Funny masterbation stories a layer of skin, leaving him with a rather sore patch for a few weeks. Health Benefits of Masturbation. Benefits of Mutual Masturbation. Mondriaantoren Amstelplein 6230th floor, BC Amsterdam info kiiroo. Vibrators Accessories OhMiBod. Sets Accessories. Wildly Remarkable Masturbation Anecdotes! The Importance of Lube First experiences with a male masturbator, for those unaware of how to correctly use one, can prove strange and difficult to get the hang of. Disgustingly Efficient The next method is one used by a former housemate of mine, who goes by the name Billy Porcelain.

Karaoke…with a twist This one is one that you may have seen before, it went slightly viral a few years back.

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Premature Celebration One of my favorite masturbation stories. Condom Drain Yet another tale involving a toilet.

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They Probably Knew Yet another case of masturbating whilst learning. Too far This is one that I think most people will be able to relate to. The Mattress Mishap This is the most inventive of all the stories. Adult Virtual Reality. Long Distance Relationships. Kiiroo News. Erotic Stories. Shop now. Contact Customer Service at: info kiiroo.

Funny masterbation stories

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